Beginning of the End
We can be winsome. We can be sweet. We can endure this.
This letter pertains to episode 91 and 92 of ill fame, which you can read here and here.
We are here, folks. The return journey. The final sprint. The march towards the end. Our gang of recalcitrant lovers are on a lackadaisical trapse back to their point of departure, in no hurry to meet their fate. And truthfully, neither am I. My goal is to squeeze out every ounce of feeling I can into ill fame, be it the vibes, the atmosphere, the emotions, the anchor images that haunt my minds eye; exorcise the angelic demon of inspiration that clawed its way into me five years ago and give it the send off it deserves.
~~~I will wait for the ache that will come after the end; all the things I failed to discuss and depict and indulge. Alas, the many turns at the storytelling crossroads that we will never know, the paths untaken~~~
After the sad goodbye of episode 89, and the continued betrayal of episode 90, I wanted to grant some relief to the reader in the form of a travelling break. A montage of our gang walking through the rupturing spring, a peek into their new dynamic. I think it’s important to have these moments of quiet and respite, small discussions, small squimishes, little wins; we need to know what the new baseline is as a reader. What is at risk here? What are they defending? What happiness will they fight for?
We also develop a long running *joke* that started off in episode 17, that is our princess’ Frankie’s father Augustus picturing our knight’s new human-made armour as “glistening with buttercups”. Our knight Bertie then repeats this design to the Land King in episode 78. Only now, in episode 91, amongst a field dotted with thousands of yellow flower heads, does Bertie actually learn what a buttercup is.
Yes my friends, that innocuous plot point was in it for the long haul. Our flag is emblazoned with our country’s motto: levity, drollity, frivolity!
Episode 92 was a fun episode to draw. I particularly enjoyed this opening panel; a long scene always feels nice to draw. It feels good to ease the reader into an atmosphere that you might betray later. And I feel like this was the first time I’d truly managed to depict daylight. The candy colours of this opening scene build up to more earthy, saturated tones when the tension breaks, with a charcoal brush accentuating the change in texture and mood. Contrast of style is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately; for me I find it helps bring more visual interest and helps to stop my panels looking too flat, especially as I render more with my lines then I do render with colour.
Two other elements I liked for this episode was a sneaky meta-moment on behalf of Frankie talking about why she’s always drawing in her notebook:
And I enjoyed the butterfly/moth motif throughout the episode. The knight Bertie enjoys all the bugs he finds on land, but this episode sees him dismiss all that he likes in a self-flagellating attempt to re-assert his decision to be a knight. Of course, he realises all this after doing some of his own illuminating drawing; remembering a cute scene between him and his boyfriend earlier on in the day. A boyfriend he has now determined he can’t be with because of their knightly duties. Those pesky lepidoptera do be giving our boy the feels.
You can read episode 91 here and episode 92 here. Episode 93 was so big it had to be split into two parts. Part one can her read here, and part two will be out 16th September. Below is a small preview, and then after that is a little post-script, including a more buggy Bertie bug boy.
Thank you for reading!
Books I’ve read:
“Verge” Nadia Attia, “The Starless Sea” Erin Morgenstern, “Fool Night Vol. 1” Kasumi Yasuda, “The Lathe of Heaven” Ursula K. LeGuin, “The Crucible” Arthur Miller, “Our Wives Under The Sea” Julia Armfield
(Finally got around to reading The Lathe of Heaven after a famous quote from it inspired much of ill fame: “Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” Little did I realise the love we are talking about was specifically sex, but I think that makes me enjoy this quote all the more. But may I suggest a new quote to obsess over, a line that truly broke my heart at the end of this wonderful book and one which rhymes beautifully with the spirit of the aforementioned quote: “But now his dry and silent grieving for his lost wife must end, for there stood, the fierce, recalcitrant, and fragile stranger, forever to be won again.”
Film/TV:
Heavenly Delusion (Tengoku Daimakyo), Scavengers Reign, We Are Lady Parts season 2, Gretel & Hansel, True Beauty
(All these shows are gorgeous and thought provoking and funny, but True Beauty, based on the webtoon comic, gave me a bit of an existential crisis. The TV show tightened everything up about the comic, gave the settings more personality, gave the characters more depth, and it made me wonder if the relentless upload schedule of webtoon comics denies them the opportunity for refinement. To echo a statement made at the beginning of this letter, I am haunted by all the things I could of done better for ill fame if I had given myself more time.)
