Honour Amongst Thieves
A belief so strong it knocks a tooth out of your mouth
After the battle comes the reckoning. With loose teeth and bruised egos, our dark-haired lads shed a layer of skin in the name of honesty for the sake of those they care about.
There are a couple of things I liked about Episode 94. Firstly, poor Patrick, down a molar and sucking on porridge on a blue spring night, espouses his honour to not serving kings he disagrees with through destroying his beloved gleaming armour. Honour has been an interesting subject to explore in ill fame, and I’ve enjoyed the back and forth on the subject between our primary knights, Albert of Wrack and Patrick of Mearle. Honour as loyalty. Honour as discernment. Honour as choice. Quite often, loyalty is leveraged like a threat; you are loyal to the company, aren’t you? A loyal employee, boot-licking through the ranks, gets the promotion, isn’t that right? A truly patriotic person sees no wrong in their country, don’t they?
In this instance, Patrick chooses his heart. He does not like to be seen representing people he doesn’t like, and he doesn’t like that representing these rulers keep him away from the people he cares about, the man he loves.
Our other dark-haired, Rhys, admits to his jealousies and envy (in a round-about way) as he struggles with the fears that trace a line from his past through to the present. Please don’t let them take anything more from me.
I would be remiss if I did not confess to hearing a certain Arrested Development meme in my head everytime our Rhys slyly owned up to his envy.
After that reckoning and those heavy emotions, Episode 95 gives us some levity, some romance, some *spells*.
Another confession.
Episode 95 took me a month to write.
An admission.
I have been so very, very tired.
This year has been hard for me for… what’s the polite way of saying it? Extenuating circumstances. It has given me some good opportunities that I have relished in, but at times has also left me emotionally and physically drained. I would like to say that I took some time out to rest, but I didn’t. I can see the exhaustion across these two episodes. I’ve spoken before about perfectionism and procrastination, and these tendencies of mine compounded with an extra high dose of anxiety to create a kind of decision paralysis. Include in that an agonising fear of wasting my time, that if I do not write this comic in this moment I will never have this time again. Productivity, dammit!
Luckily, the episode got written. Luckily, I have calmed my nerves down and am finding ways to manage my anxiety and time better. Maybe I will talk about that sometime.
What I did like about this episode was how much I managed to fit in. All these little scenes that have been playing around in my head for months, years, finally found a place in this episode. Plus our boy Rhys, in retaliation for the jealousies that took over him in the previous episode, recounts his fears for defiance so that him and his wife can face their adversaries. Plus Rhys and Frankie get some alone time to do some *spells* together.
Episode 96 of ill fame is out Monday 9th December, 7pm GMT. Below is a little exclusive preview, and then some more conversation after that.
Other Stuff:
Books: The Boody Chamber by Angela Carter (“Okay, I write overblown, purple, self-indulgent prose. So fucking what?”). Hellebore Vol. 12. The Come Find Me horror compilation from DSTLRY. Barrowbeck by Andrew Micheal Hurley. The Wood at Midwinter and The Ladies of Grace Adieu by Susanna Clarke. The latest volumes of Fool Night and The Summer Hikaru Died. Hagstone by Sinéad Gleeson.
TV and Film: Rivals (hate that it ends with a bait for a second season). The Wicker Man (1973). Pride and Prejudice (1995). Sense and Sensibility (2008).
